Why Us?
by Winter-Rae
Summary: The four new Grey Wardens each decide to have a sit down with the Warden Commander, Rayne Tabris, to ask her why she chose them. And in doing so, they find out a little more about her and her time during the Blight.
1. Chapter 1: Anders: The Caged

**Why Us?**

**Title:** Why Us?

**Summary:** The four new Grey Wardens each decide to have a sit down with the Warden Commander, Rayne Tabris, to ask her why she chose them. And in doing so, they find out a little more about her and her time during the Blight.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of course.

**Warnings:** Nothing that you haven't seen or heard if you played the game. Some spoilers for Awakening!!

**Winter-Rae:** Awakening is great, don't get me wrong, the only problem I have with it is the lack of the romancing option. Oh well, thank goodness for fan fiction because I plan to write an Alistair/Female Tabris/Nathaniel Howe story eventually. Anyway, I was hoping to write this whole other huge story combining the Male Human Nobel, Female Dalish Elf, Female City Elf and Female Dwarf Commoner, but it didn't happen (and it's been done before anyway), so if I make mention of other characters it's just using what I had in mind for that other story. Don't worry though, it's shouldn't confuse anyone too much, I hope. So, go easy on me, read on, and enjoy.

* * *

**Why Us?**

**Chapter 1: Anders – The Caged**

"Oghren, I have a question for you?"

"What is it this time Sparkle Fingers? More comments about my smell? My height? Just try it and as soon as the room stops spinning I'll deal with you! You...nug licker!"

Anders chuckled at the dwarf's obvious hostility. Of course it could mostly be blamed on the large tankard of ale in his hands. In his short time of knowing the dwarf, Anders had been quick to learn that Oghren could be slightly angry when he was drunk; which was why Anders was standing a few feet away from him.

Oghren had been sitting at the large dining room table, eating alone, which was common unless the Warden Commander would eat with him. Their fearless leader was nowhere in sight however and Anders had been eager to speak with her. Of course knowing how busy Rayne could be, what with her duties as the ruler of Vigil's Keep, he would be lucky to find her awake and willing to talk.

"Nug licker, now that's a new one," the mage mused, "Anyway, do you happen to know where the Commander is?"

Oghren let out a belch and wiped his mouth on the back of his sleeve.

"Probably in the study," he slurred, "Now get out of here and let me finish."

"One more question?" Anders went on, loving how annoyed Oghren was getting.

"Bah! Fine, what is it?"

"Do you think she'll be willing to answer some questions?"

"Why ask me?"

"You've known her longer than I have."

"Hmm, true, well she's a real talker that's for sure," the dwarf replied, "Get her going and she'll never shut up. Annoying really, the way she always seems to get you to talk to her even if you might not want too."

While Oghren seemed annoyed by the trait, Anders couldn't help but notice that the Commander was the only one he spoke too when he was having any sort of problem. So regardless of his complaint Anders was sure that Oghren appreciated the Commander's counsel.

"She's persuasive, I'll give her that," the mage mused, "Well, thank you Oghren, I'll let you get back to your drink then."

"Good, I'm getting sick of talking to both of you!"

"Both of..." Anders trailed off as Oghren slumped forward on the table, passed out and face first into his meal. The mage poked him and then chuckled.

"Oh how tempting it is to cut off part of that beard of yours," he mused. However, that idea was erased from his mind as he thought of how Oghren would react to losing part of his beloved beard. The images of a flying axe being embedded into his chest were the first things he thought of, making him shudder.

'Right,' he mused to himself, 'Another time then.'

He then left Oghren to his drunken nap and went in search of the Commander; the elven rogue Rayne Tabris.

* * *

Anders had a decent opinion of Rayne. She did, after all, save him from being sent back to the tower where he would have no doubt been made Tranquil or hung, both of which he wanted to avoid. Not only that but she had even been willing to help him search for his phylactery, which surprised him greatly. But she didn't seem to think mage's evil or dangerous like others did, maybe it had something to do with that Wynne character they had met in the city.

Of course he had been initially surprised to find out she was an elf, he himself had no ill feelings towards elves in general, but even still an elf in power was surprising. If anything he rather respected elves, seeing as though most of the elves he had known in the tower were a great deal better at magic than he was, and he always thought himself to be a very decent mage. But in any case, Rayne was an elf who he respected and got along just fine with.

Oghren had been right when he told him that she would be in the study. She was sitting at a table near the fire place; her food and drink pushed to the side and a piece of parchment in front of her. She appeared to be writing a letter as she would pause every once and a while to ponder on her words, scratching out some and re-writing others. She did look busy, so Anders wasn't sure if he should even bother her, but his curiosity got the better of him.

He swallowed and then knocked on the door. She glanced up at him with alert grey eyes and cocked her head to the side.

"Hello Anders," she greeted, "Something wrong?"

"No, not really, just wondering if I could ask you something?"

She seemed to pick up on the slightly serious tone in his voice, as she pushed her letter to the side and motioned for him to join her at the table. She then retrieved another cup, filled it with the same wine she had been drinking and placed it in front of him. She observed him for a moment before smiling.

"You may ask me anything," she said. Anders arched a playful eyebrow.

"Oh? You mean that? Best be careful my lady, this could get personal very quickly."

She let out a laugh.

"If you're here to try and make me blush, I should warn you, there's nothing that you could say that might surprise me. My friend Zevran corrupted any innocence in me very quickly."

"Zevran?"

"An Antivan assassin," she explained. Anders arched an eyebrow.

"You have certainly travelled in strange company Commander."

"Strange would be putting it lightly," she replied, "Anders, have I ever asked you to call me by my name?"

"Not that I recall."

She frowned slightly.

"Well then I insist, it's just 'Rayne' this 'Commander' stuff makes me feel old."

Anders chuckled.

"Well you certainly don't look it."

She rolled her eyes.

"Flatterer, didn't you have a question for me?"

"Oh, yes, right," he said, "Why me?"

"Why you what?"

"Why did you decide to conscript me? Surely there must be a reason, aside from the fact that you needed more good looking individuals in the Wardens of course."

"I don't know, have you seen some of the Wardens around here?"

It was Anders' turn to laugh.

"Seriously though, I'm only curious, if there's no real reason that's alright."

Rayne crossed her arms over her chest and thought for a moment.

"Well, I suppose it's a fair question," she said, "Aside from your obvious skills, part of the reason is that you sort of reminded me of Alistair. Your humour and care-free side mostly, not to mention that you're fluent in sarcasm just like he was."

"Oh, I remind you of your lover do I?" Anders said playfully, "I'm never going to let you forget that now. Ewww, you don't think of me when you're with him do you?"

"Maker's breath, no Anders, I don't think of you," she said in an exasperated tone, "You're not that good and I haven't even been with Alistair since I arrived here."

She looked slightly concerned when she mentioned the new king. Anders observed her expression for a moment before he decided to speak.

"Something wrong?"

"I worry about him sometimes," she replied, "I also hate being this far from him, if he needed my help I wouldn't even know it. But I suppose worrying about it doesn't help, and my new responsibilities keep me busy, so that's a comfort."

"Ah yes, running after us new recruits must be a real thorn in your side."

"Not at all," she replied with a grin, "I rather enjoy it. To return to your question; the main reason why I recruited you is because I didn't want you to have to go back to the Tower."

Anders frowned, feeling his defences go up. He wasn't sure why but he felt that this conversation just might head into uncomfortable territory for him.

"Why would you even care?"

She looked him in the eye.

"Because I know what it's like to be caged."

Anders was annoyed by that comment. How in Andraste's name would she know what it was like to be in that Tower? Never being able to leave it and having all of those Templar's eyes on you every second of every day. Or even being locked in solitary confinement; Anders shuddered at that thought. That was one long memory of his life he would rather forget.

"Somehow I doubt that," he muttered. She watched him sympathetically and reached out to pat his hand in a comforting manner.

"Maybe not to the extreme but I have some idea."

"Enlighten me."

Rayne nodded.

"Well, I don't know if I told you this, but I'm originally from Denerim," she explained, "Most of the elves there were servants and lived in the Alienage. I hated it there, to me that place felt like the worst kind of cage. It was filled with so much death, despair and pain. If disease didn't get you then the sense of hopelessness did. I lived in there my whole life, until I was recruited by Duncan. Though I did have it easier than you I suppose, I had my family, you didn't."

"I've heard of the Denerim Alienage," Anders said, "Not exactly the nicest of places to live."

"No, it wasn't," she sighed, "I think what was the worst about it was that no one seemed to care. The elves did nothing to try and improve matters; a lot of them drank horribly, so they would get into trouble which would make it worse for others. And the humans, well, we weren't anything to them."

"That's a very mature way to look at it," Anders pointed out. Rayne chuckled bitterly.

"Yes well, it was a hard lesson to learn."

"So, how did you get recruited?"

Rayne crossed her arms over her chest.

"I killed a nobleman's son for raping my cousin."

Anders' jaw dropped, he hadn't even been expecting her to come out and tell him in the first place. And now he was wishing that he hadn't even asked, the topic seemed to be very sensitive for her.

"I...I'm sorry," he said. What else could he say?

"Don't be, she's fine now and so am I," she pointed out, "I've never regretted it either and I would do it again, the pig got just what he deserved."

"I'll not argue with you there."

The mage then thought on what she had told him, and he supposed that she did have a point. He had told her once that he hated being judged as dangerous just because he was a mage, he didn't decide to be one after all. They both had been trapped in a life that they had no control over. He didn't decide to be a mage and she didn't decide to be born in the Alienage where humans could take advantage of them.

"So I guess I should thank you then," he mused, "For saving me from my cage."

Rayne smiled.

"You don't have to do that, besides I rather like having you around."

"Thank you Rayne."

She watched him for a moment before replying. He wondered what she was thinking about in that time but decided it might be best not to ask. She was entitled to a few private thoughts after all; maybe he'd ask her about it another time.

"You're welcome my friend, now is there anything else you'd like to ask me?"

"Not right now," he replied, "Maybe another time?"

"Any time," she said, "Good night Anders."

"Good night Rayne."

The mage then got to his feet and made his way to leave the room. He paused at the door and glanced back at her; she had gone back to her writing and didn't appear to notice him still standing there. His respect for Rayne had increased a great deal during their conversation and the fact that they had something in common was a comfort for him.

Despite all of the despair both of them had seen in their life time, they survived it and it made them both stronger. Now, they had both been chosen to become Grey Wardens and to do something great, to Anders that was an amazing feat.

'Maybe one day, I can return the favour,' he thought to himself before closing the door to retire to his room for the night; Ser Pounce-a-lot at his heels.

* * *

**Winter-Rae:** That was fun to write, Anders is so adorable, I just wanna squeeze him, haha. Anyway, the next one will be Velanna. Honestly, I don't like her much but it will be interesting to write. So leave me some feedback and thanks for reading, cheers!


	2. Chapter 2: Velanna: For Sisters

**Why Us?**

**Title:** Why Us?

**Summary:** The four new Grey Wardens each decide to have a sit down with the Warden Commander, Rayne Tabris, to ask her why she chose them. And in doing so, they find out a little more about her and her time during the Blight.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of course.

**Warnings:** Nothing that you haven't seen or heard if you played the game. Some spoilers for Awakening!!

**Winter-Rae:** Here's the next chapter for you all. Velanna is an interesting character to write, even though she's a bit of a spazz. Thank you to all who read, reviewed, and added this to their favourites or alerts, you make me happy. Enjoy.

* * *

**Why Us?**

**Chapter 2: Velanna – For Sisters**

"What are you so happy about?"

Velanna's sharp voice made Anders jump in surprise. He turned to see the stern Dalish mage watching him with her sharp eyes. She didn't look to happy at that moment, but of course it was a rare thing to see a smile on her face in the first place. That was a shame as Velanna had a very beautiful face, one that should always have a smile on it. But then again, he could hardly blame her for not wanting to smile.

"Umm, what makes you think I'm happy?" he asked her.

"The stupid smirk on your face, obviously."

"Oh right, well I better fix that then."

Anders then furrowed his brow in a frown and glared at Velanna.

"How's this?"

Velanna scoffed.

"You're like a child."

"I know, I can't help it really."

"You were with the flat ear I assume then?"

"Flat ear?"

Velanna crossed her arms over her chest and nodded towards the study. Anders chuckled. There had been a great deal of hostility between Velanna and Rayne ever since she had recruited her. He found this odd as Velanna demanded to undertake the Joining; she hadn't been conscripted like himself and Nathaniel.

"One who has forgotten what it means to be an elf," she explained.

"Oh right, that flat ear," he replied while rolling his eyes, "I was, I had a question for her."

"What question might that be?"

"I asked her why she decided to recruit me."

"I have wondered that about you myself," Velanna pointed out, "You hardly seem reliable."

"This coming from the elf who would have killed us without a second thought," Anders pointed out, "I on the other hand usually have a pretty good reason for killing someone."

"Indeed, did she provide you with an answer to your question then?"

Anders nodded.

"She sure did, so if you're done interrogating me, I'm going to bed."

Anders then turned on his heel and marched towards one of the doors, which led to a long hallway where their bedchambers were. Velanna watched him leave and then her gaze drifted towards the study. Velanna was vaguely curious about why the Commander trusted any of the companions she now travelled with; an apostate, a thief, a drunk, a lost spirit, a man who wanted to kill her and then herself.

Velanna squared her shoulders and barged into the study, not bothering to knock. The Commander's head jerked up to face her. Before she had a chance to speak Velanna held up her hand to silence her, a gesture that said she had something to say first.

"Commander, I demand an answer," she said. Rayne arched an eyebrow and then spoke quickly.

"Umm, blue?"

"I...wait, what?"

Velanna paused in confusion. Rayne laughed.

"You said you wanted an answer and 'blue' was the first thing I thought of."

"Now you're mocking me, you are more of a flat ear than I initially gave you credit for."

Rayne shrugged.

"I'm not trying to mock you Velanna," she said, "But even you must agree that it's hard to give an answer when one doesn't know the question."

The lovely Dalish mage couldn't argue with that logic.

"You make a good point, and I apologize for not asking it first," she muttered, "In any case, my question is why did you decide to allow me to join the Wardens?"

"Seems to be the popular question of the evening," Rayne mused, "Any reason why you want to know?"

"It's my right."

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

Rayne chuckled but did not offer any reply. Instead she went back to writing her letter. Velanna watched her, her annoyance growing and her patience fleeting. Why would the Commander willingly tell Anders her reason but deny her? She was a fool to favour that mage. Anders was nothing compared to her, her skills were far superior.

"I think your hair is foolish," she pointed out suddenly. Rayne's hand went up to her hair, the multiple small ponytails was a hairstyle that she and her cousin Shianni shared ever since they were young. Why Velanna was so annoyed by her hair was beyond her however. She might have been trying to get a rise out of her since she had yet to divulge her reasoning for letting her take the Joining, but to Rayne, Velanna was a mystery.

"And you are not Dalish," she went on, "So why do you have the Vallaslin, Blood Writing? You mock my people continuously and seem to not even care."

"Velanna, why do you always assume I'm trying to insult the Dalish?" Rayne demanded, "I have nothing but respect for your people. My great grandmother was Dalish, my tattoos are in remembrance of her; my grandmother had the same ones, as did my mother. If you want to pick apart my appearance at least give me a warning next time. Maybe I'll throw on a dress or something and try to look presentable, although I can't see how my appearance makes me any less effective at killing Darkspawn."

Velanna fell silent for a few moments.

"If she was Dalish, why did she leave?"

Rayne shrugged.

"For love, she met my great grandfather while visiting a small village to trade," she replied. Velanna scoffed.

"To turn one's back on their clan is a disgrace."

"Well, I happen to think that sending one away into a world they've never known is also a disgrace."

"If you're referring to me..."

"No Velanna," Rayne interrupted, "I'm referring to another one of my fellow Wardens. She was a Dalish but then was infected by the Darkspawn taint. She was sent away into a world of shems and loneliness, and while it was to save her life she was never able to get past the fact that she was sent away so easily."

Velanna arched an eyebrow.

"You remind me of her actually," Rayne mused, "She was just as angry, bitter and full of hatred. She didn't like me for my tattoos either. To her I was more human than elf, only I had the 'audacity' to mock the Dalish with my tattoos. You're not as violent as her though, thank the Maker. You should stop making assumptions about people Velanna."

"So is that why you recruited me then?" the Dalish mage asked, "I remind you of this other Grey Warden, sentiment is hardly a reason to trust someone with your life."

Rayne laughed.

"Oh I don't trust you with my life," she said, "Not yet anyway. But there is much you and Lena have in common."

"Lena Mahariel?"

Rayne looked up at Velanna in surprise.

"You know her?"

"Our clans had crossed paths once or twice, what became of her?"

Rayne grinned.

"Oh, you're going to love this, she fell in love with a human man."

Velanna narrowed her eyes at the Commander.

"A Dalish would never allow that to happen."

"Right, sure, and I'll pretend that banter between you and Nathaniel means absolutely nothing," Rayne mused, "His name was Jasper Cousland, another fellow Warden."

"I am not here to hear you reminisce about your past," Velanna snapped, "Will you tell me why I am here or not!"

"Alright, fine, I let you join us because you asked me too."

"I was hardly polite when asking."

"True, but your reason for wanting to join is more profound than your manners."

"My reason?"

"Your sister, Seranni, you want to rescue her yes? What better reason to join the Wardens then wanting to save someone you love and hold dear? Better than the reason why I joined."

"And why did you join?"

"Well, Duncan recruited me after I killed a nobleman's son, if I stayed in the Alienage I would have been killed."

"So you're a coward, fleeing from justice?"

"I guess you could say that, sure."

"Does nothing I say bother you?" Velanna asked, "I just accused you of being a coward and you do not retaliate against me. Any other would demand a fight to prove their honour."

"I'm just a little bit strange I suppose, actually the comments about my hair bothered me if that makes you feel any better."

"Vanity," Velanna scoffed.

"No, I keep my hair like this to remember my cousin and how I failed her."

Velanna thought on this for a moment.

"Regretting the past will not help you," she offered, "All you can do is move forward and do your best to make sure something like that does not happen again. At least that is what I have been telling myself lately."

Rayne smiled up at her.

"Does it help?"

"Not really."

"Didn't think so," she sighed, "Look Velanna, I would like for us to be friends, but I know I have to earn that right and I'm pretty willing to work at it."

"I don't understand you," Velanna said, "Why does it mean so much to you that we be friends? You know I am only using you to find my sister, I have been less than agreeable and I do believe I was only hear an hour before I insulted everyone in the group."

"I like a challenge," Rayne replied with a chuckle, "I look at you and see someone headstrong, and independent with a drive to set matters right for your people; all admirable qualities. You're a fine Warden Velanna and I mean that. Maybe we can learn something from one another."

"What could you possibly teach me?" the Dalish asked, "And what knowledge do I have that you could possibly want?"

"I'll keep Oghren from ogling you," the Commander said, "And since Lena and I became very close and I learned a great deal about the Dalish from her, although she still won't tell me what 'onoone' means. Can you help me with that at all?"

"Onoone?" Velanna asked, "Does she call you that?"

"Yes," Rayne said with a laugh, "I'm almost positive it's some sort of Dalish insult though."

A small smile graced Velanna's lips.

"Not at all, it means sister."

Rayne opened her mouth to respond but closed it quickly; Velanna was surprised to see the Commander stunned into a silence for once.

"It appears we both have sisters we would do anything for," she mused, "Thank you Commander, I appreciate you speaking with me. I will leave you now."

The Dalish mage then left the study, leaving the Commander to whatever thoughts that new knowledge might have brought on.

'Perhaps she's not as much a flat ear as I thought.'

* * *

**Winter-Rae:** That was hard to write; still I hope you all enjoyed it. 'Onoone' is Tolkien's elvish; I had no idea if the makers of Dragon Age had a word for 'sister,' so I went with the next best thing. Next one will be Sigrun, because she's too adorable for words! Thanks for reading! Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3: Sigrun: The Casteless

**Why Us?**

**Title:** Why Us?

**Summary:** The four new Grey Wardens each decide to have a sit down with the Warden Commander, Rayne Tabris, to ask her why she chose them. And in doing so, they find out a little more about her and her time during the Blight.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of course.

**Warnings:** Nothing that you haven't seen or heard if you played the game. Some spoilers for Awakening!!

**Winter-Rae:** Sigrun is possibly the cutest character ever. She's so spunky and perky, I love her! On another note; I was watching The Princess Bride and some of the lines from it were totally in Dragon Age Origin. I laughed so hard. One line was Sten's 'Get used to disappointment' and another's was Shale's 'Have fun storming the castle.' Effing brilliant! I wonder if it was intentional, like an homage to the movie or something? Anyway, I'll shut up now. Enjoy.

* * *

**Why Us?**

**Chapter 3: Sigrun – The Casteless**

"Oohh, what's this called?"

The cook of Vigil's Keep heaved a quiet sigh and tried to keep a hold on both her temper and her tongue. It was normal for the smallest Grey Warden to hover around different areas of the Keep and ask all sorts of questions of anything she might not recognize or understand. The Commander had explained to the staff that Sigrun had been in the Legion of the Dead for a long while and thus was very curious about the surface. So, at the Commander's request, they tried their best to answer any questions Sigrun had for them.

"It's a dish that the Commander requested," she replied, "Some sort of dish her father used to make for her, a type of roast lamb with vegetables."

"Lamb?"

"A small four legged animal, like a small horse; only covered in wool."

"What's a horse?"

"Similar to the Bronto I suppose."

Sigrun scrunched her nose up in disgust. The thought of eating anything like a Bronto, be it smaller and covered with wool did not appeal to her in the slightest.

"Umm, maybe I'll just skip dinner tonight," she said. The cook chuckled and waved her off.

"Have a nice day Lady Sigrun."

Sigrun waved to the older woman and took her leave, walking slowly back towards the throne room, pausing to look at any pictures or to grab up a shiny item. Only to remember a moment later that it didn't belong to her and she then had to back track and replace it.

'Old habits,' she mused to herself, feeling slightly guilty, stealing from the people who had been nothing but kind to her.

She paused in the throne room when she noticed the Commander speaking with Seneschal Varel. The older man had a grin on his face as Rayne tried to explain something to him, Sigrun couldn't hear what she was saying but the Commander could be very animated when she got excited about something. Right now for example, her hands were moving through the air quickly as she tried to emphasize her point.

Sigrun had been pleasantly surprised to find out that the Commander had a very decent sense of humour. When she was asked about it, Rayne had blamed it all on Alistair. She explained that he had been the one to put her in touch with her more immature side and show her how to not take herself so seriously, of course she wasn't complaining about it. Who wanted to wallow in self-pity and despair anyway?

"So then Oghren threw the lump of charcoal right at my head," Rayne finished, "If I known he hated Satinalia that much I never would have got him anything. I had a nasty bump on my head for a week after that."

Varel chuckled and glanced towards Sigrun.

"I think someone wishes to speak with you Commander."

Rayne turned to Sigrun and offered her a smile.

"Afternoon Commander!" the Legionnaire Scout chirped.

"Hello Sigrun, pestering the cook again I hear."

The dwarf pulled a face.

"If you didn't have such odd tastes in food I wouldn't have to ask her about them all the time; in order to make sure you're not feeding me something awful."

"Good point, does it have your approval then?"

"Not at all."

"Why?" Rayne asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"The cook said that lambs are like little Brontos!" Sigrun cried out, waving her arms in the air.

"What? No they aren't," the Commander argued, "...but if it bothers you that much I'm sure something else can be made for you. What would you like?"

Sigrun shifted.

"No, it's alright," she said, "You'd think that growing up in Dust Town I would have learned to be happy with what I could get. I shouldn't have complained."

"It's alright Sigrun, we all have things we don't enjoy; for example, I don't enjoy being hunted down and almost killed by Darkspawn every day. Or assassins. Or nobles, now that I think about it."

Sigrun laughed.

"Oh I'll not disagree with that Commander, and thank you for giving me the chance to be even better at killing the Darkspawn. I'm still surprised you asked me, a casteless, to come along with you to help the Wardens, it's been one adventure after another."

Rayne smiled.

"Fighting at your side has been an honour Sigrun," she said.

"Not something I hear too often Commander, but it means a lot to me, I never thought a casteless could ever be a Warden."

"Not many thought a knife-ear like me could be one either," Rayne mused, winking at her, "You were destined to be great Sigrun."

"You really think so?"

"I sure do."

"Is that why you picked me then?"

Rayne shrugged.

"In a manner of speaking," she mused, "But to be honest, I asked you to come along because I didn't want you to be alone."

Sigrun wasn't sure what to make of that reason; she wasn't sure if the Commander doubted her abilities as a single fighter or if there was something else. Her face must have carried a look of disappointment on it as Rayne quickly tried to explain.

"Don't get me wrong Sigrun, you are an amazing fighter and I know you wouldn't let those things take you without killing a lot of them first, but even you must admit that they would have gotten you eventually."

Sigrun nodded.

"I suppose that's true."

"The last thing I wanted was to leave you to the possible fate of becoming a Broodmother, no one deserves that."

"Well, I am a thief."

Rayne placed her hands on Sigrun's shoulders.

"I don't care what you've done in your past Sigrun," she said, "I don't care if according to the Legion you're already dead, if that means you're expendable it's not right. You are worth more than you think. No one, not even a murderer deserves to be taken and twisted by those bastards into such a monster as that. I'm not trying to insult the memories of your friends either, it's just my opinion of you."

Sigrun looked up at Rayne and smiled brightly.

"You really know how to make someone's day a little bit better," she said, "Thank you Commander, I'm glad you think that I'm worth your time."

"I will always have time for you and the others," Rayne insisted, "Unless of course we're in the middle of a war, then I might be a little distracted with other things."

Sigrun laughed.

"Well that's understandable," she said, "I'd rather have you save lives than give me a heart to heart talk about life anyway."

Rayne released Sigrun and chuckled.

"I'll have to keep that in mind then, hmm, can I ask you something Sigrun?"

"Sure."

"What was it like in the Legion?"

Sigrun thought for a moment, that was a fair question to be asked of her, she after all was usually the one to be asking the questions. While being in the Legion was a serious matter, there were also times when laughter and sharing stories was something to be enjoyed. She had heard plenty of stories from her fellow Legion members that she would have loved to share, but they were not her stories, so she kept them to herself. But there was some details she didn't mind divulging.

"Well, we fought Darkspawn almost constantly, and when we weren't we were setting up a camp and defences to make sure they couldn't ambush us," she explained, "But of course after that was all done we'd share stories, sometimes they'd be dirty stories."

"Nothing wrong with the occasional dirty story," Rayne mused, "I have a few myself."

"What?" Sigrun asked, "The honourable Warden Commander?"

The elven rogue smiled but did not elaborate.

"Varlan used to tell us about all of the offers he got from the noble hunters," Sigrun explained with a hint of annoyance in her voice, "Some of those girls were naughtier than any of the girls I knew in the Legion. He was too good for them though."

Rayne arched an eyebrow.

"If you don't mind my saying so Sigrun," she mused, "I think you were in love with Varlan."

Sigrun's eyes widened.

"I-I, I do mind you saying that Commander."

Rayne held up her hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry Sigrun, I didn't mean to insult you, there's nothing wrong with loving someone."

"In the Legion we weren't supposed to love, we had more important things to do, some of the other Legionnaires indulged in that and it always ended badly," the dwarf pointed out, "It's the same in the Wardens isn't it? There's always a chance you could lose someone, you can't let that get in the way of achieving your goal. If you had to choose between killing the leader of these new Darkspawn or saving us, which would you pick?"

"I'd save my recruits," Rayne replied, "We'd survive to fight another day."

Sigrun frowned.

"You say that so quickly, even though doing that could result in other people dying, how could you do that?"

"So I'm supposed to let you, Anders, Velanna, Nathaniel or Oghren die?" Rayne asked, "No, I don't think so, that doesn't sit right with me."

"Death comes for us all Commander, surely you know that."

"I do, but if I can prevent it, then I will."

"You are a strange elf."

"You're not the first to tell me that," Rayne chuckled.

"Still, I would hope you would choose the greater good over me," the dwarf mused, "I told you before that I plan to go back into the Deep Road."

"Un-mourned and forgotten," Rayne quoted, "Yes I remember you saying that. But understand this Sigrun, as a Grey Warden your sacrifice will never be forgotten. And since you're my friend, I will mourn if something happens to you. And I can think of a few others who would as well."

Sigrun had nothing to say to that and Rayne gathered that their conversation was done for the time being. She patted the dwarf's shoulder and offered her a smile.

"I'm glad you came with me," she said, "The Wardens are lucky to have you."

"If you say so Commander."

"I do."

Sigrun walked away from the elf, not sure what to make of everything that had been said. She was touched that the Commander seemed to hold her in such high regard, but confused by it as well. Her words were comforting however, and knowing that she had someone who would always be there if she needed them was a wonderful feeling. The fact that here, she was worth something, meant more than she could ever express.

She glanced back at Rayne, a bright smile on her face.

"Thanks again Commander!"

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**Winter-Rae:** I could never get Sigrun's side quest to unlock until today and it was driving me crazy!! Anyone else have that problem? Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this one, it was pretty friggin hard to write, but worth it, and I hope it's not too horrible. Thanks for reading, cheers!


	4. Chapter 4: Nathaniel: For Hope

**Why Us?**

**Title:** Why Us?

**Summary:** The four new Grey Wardens each decide to have a sit down with the Warden Commander, Rayne Tabris, to ask her why she chose them. And in doing so, they find out a little more about her and her time during the Blight.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of course.

**Warnings:** Nothing that you haven't seen or heard if you played the game. Some spoilers for Awakening!!

**Winter-Rae:** Saving the best for last! I'm gonna be honest, Nathaniel is epic. I think he's a great character. Sure his dad was a douchebag but Nathaniel is the love! Anyway, this is the last chapter so thank you all for checking this out, you all make me happy. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 4: Nathaniel – For Hope**

Nathaniel walked through the hallways of Vigil's Keep, pausing every few moments when something familiar caught his eye. How many times had he run down these hallways as a boy, nearly knocking over shelves or vases with his nanny running after him and begging him to slow down? Too many times to count and some of them he had forgotten.

Now however, everything was different. Many of his family's things were gone, locked or thrown away, but every once and a while he would come across a familiar object.

At this moment for example, he was standing in front of an old bookcase. It was still filled with the books he had read as a child, before he had been sent away. He picked one off of the shelf and flipped through it, stopping when he came to a torn page. He remembered clearly how it had been torn, and he also remembered just how much his brother had yelled at him for ruining it.

He and Delilah had been fighting over the book when he ripped one of the pages right out. Delilah had been heartbroken as it had been her favourite book; their mother had read it to her often before she died. As a way to try and make it up to her, Nathaniel had taken the page and rewrote it in his then messy script. When he gave her the book with the page he had tried to fix she had been very happy with him.

Even now, the page he had rewritten was still in place, only folded so it wouldn't fall out as easily. He opened it and smiled it his horrible child-like writing. He even spelt some of the words wrong in his haste to fix it. Fixing things had been so simple as a child.

Now however, he had been given the daunting task of trying to recover some of his family's honour, a task that was proving to be not so simple. He couldn't just copy down some words and make everything better again. The fact that he had even been given the chance was something to be in awe of though.

"Thanks again Commander!"

Nathaniel replaced the book and glanced down the hall. Sigrun was exiting the throne room with a huge smile on her face, something that didn't surprise him much. But the dwarf's steps seemed to be lighter for some reason.

"Hello Nathaniel," she greeted when she noticed him, "Nice afternoon, I love seeing that sun in the sky, don't you?"

Nathaniel nodded.

"Yes, it is a sight," he replied, "Might I ask what you and the Commander were speaking about that's made you so happy?"

Sigrun's grin widened.

"Oh a little of this and a little of that," she replied, "Mostly we talked about the Wardens and the Legion, I like being a part of both. I was just thanking her for letting me come along and wondering why she picked me in the first place."

"You're very skilled," Nathaniel pointed out, "Any group would be lucky to have you with them in a fight against the Darkspawn."

"Thank you, the Commander had other reasons though, anyway have you seen Oghren anywhere?" she asked him, "Some of my unmentionables have gone missing...again and I know he had something to do with it."

While that story was too much information for Nathaniel, he gestured towards the doors leading to the courtyard. Sigrun thanked him and hurried on her way, yelling out to Oghren that she was going to chop of his beard, and something else of greater importance, if he didn't stop making off with her clothes.

Nathaniel shook his head and a small smirk graced his face. While he enjoyed both Sigrun and Oghren's company, most of the time, the two of them could sometimes be like children. He continued wandering down the corridor, pausing at the dining hall doorway. He glanced in and saw that the Commander had settled there and was polishing her daggers.

The last time they were in Amaranthine she had purchased a new one and had been itching to try it out on some Darkspawn throats. Nathaniel had to chuckle at the way her eyes lit up when she held the dagger, turning it over in her nimble fingers and running her thumb over the blade. Oghren on the other hand, teased her about having a knife fetish and she blushed, saying that it was sad but true.

"Hello Nathaniel."

The rogue jumped when she addressed him.

"I'm sorry Commander," he said quickly, "I did not mean to interfere."

"Interfere with what?" she asked, turning to smile at him, "Come on in and sit with me for a while, unless you have something else to do?"

"Thank you."

He crossed the hall and joined her at the table.

"How did you know it was me?" he asked her. She chuckled.

"I travelled with an Antivan Crow and he taught me a few tricks."

"You knew a Crow?"

"Yep, remember when I told you that some of my best friends have wanted me dead?"

"Yes?"

"Well he was one of them."

"Oh, I thought you might have been joking about that."

She laughed and shook her head.

"Nope, it's true."

She then looked up from her dagger and held it out for him to see. Nathaniel had to admit it was a fine blade; made of dragonbone and while one could tell it had seen many fights it still was deadly in the right hands.

"Fang," she explained, "That is its name."

"I've never seen its like," Nathaniel replied, handing it back to her, she held up her hand to stop him.

"You keep it," she said, "Call it a gift."

"I'm better with a bow, blades are not my strong point," he pointed out. She laughed.

"Don't I know it, but still, you never know when it might come in handy."

"Why give me this?" he asked her, "Isn't it special to you?"

"Maybe that's why I'm giving it to you," she replied, "I trust that you'll use it well. It used to be my mother's, passed down from mother to daughter ever since the battle for the Dales. But, now I'm giving it to you."

"Wouldn't you rather give it to your own daughter one day?"

Rayne's face fell slightly and even though she tried to hide it, Nathaniel's keen eyes were hard to fool, but that didn't mean he was willing to press a sensitive issue.

"Thank you my friend," he said, "I shall treasure this."

"Good," she mused. Nathaniel watched her for a moment before speaking.

"Rayne," he started, "You are not Dalish, correct?"

"No, I'm not, why?"

"Might I ask where you come from?"

She arched an eyebrow in confusion but indulged him.

"I lived in the Denerim Alienage before I was recruited into the Wardens."

Nathaniel shifted uncomfortably in his chair and a frown darkened his face. Rayne cocked her head to the side and then a look of understanding filled her face.

"I take it your sister told you what your father did to the Alienage when he became the arl?"

"Yes," the Howe growled, "He purged it and slaughtered Maker knows how many innocents."

Rayne sighed.

"Yes, I remember confronting him about it too."

Nathaniel fixed her with his intense stare.

"What did he say?"

"I don't think it would be right of me to tell you."

"If you respect me, then you would."

She sighed.

"Fine, he said that when the cattle turn against their masters that it's necessary to cull the herd."

Nathaniel crossed his arms over his chest and refused to look at her. Rayne lent forward and poked his arm.

"Hey," she said, "I hope this isn't going to drive a wedge between us Nathaniel."

"Why didn't you say anything about it before?" he demanded, "Why even recruit me? I'm the son of the man who killed some of your people. Oghren has spoken to me of Jasper Cousland as well, Fergus' brother. He says that you two are like family, yet you spared me. It doesn't make any sense."

"Well, first off, you never asked me until now," she replied, "At the time I didn't think it was worth mentioning, you already had your opinions of what happened. Anything I said wouldn't have matter then. Jasper is like my brother, yes, but he and I have had our revenge. I have to be honest though, I don't regret what happened."

"You don't regret recruiting me or killing my father?"

Rayne sighed.

"Would you hate me if I said both?" she asked, "If it means anything to you, I didn't land the killing blow, that was not for me."

"Would you have though, if Jasper didn't?"

"Of course I would have."

"Honesty seems to be your strong suit," he muttered, "I don't hate Fergus or Jasper for hating my family; if our situations had been switched I would hate them too. But this still doesn't explain why you let me live. For all you know I'm just like him...just like my father."

"Are you trying to tell me that you're another Rendon Howe in the making?" she asked, "If so, I could kill you now if you like."

Nathaniel was taken by surprise at her boldness. She looked completely serious when she spoke yet he somehow couldn't believe that she would kill him here and now. He had seen how much she was willing to do and go through for the recruits she had brought along with her, none of her actions said that she would hurt a one of them. Perhaps she was going somewhere with this, but he wasn't sure.

"What? No, I..."

"Then stop this, you're his son, not him and in my opinion his sins have nothing to do with you."

Nathaniel sighed and shook his head.

"You're a very strange woman."

Rayne laughed.

"So you've told me before, I had my reasons for recruiting you."

"Such as?"

"Aside from the fact that it took four Wardens to finally catch you?" she teased, "I saw something in you the moment I found out who you were. I saw a man who was better than his father, a good and fair man, a man who could do great things if given the chance. While part of my judgement screamed at me to not keep you around the other part said that I could trust you."

"You're a poor judge of character then," he muttered. Rayne frowned.

"I am not," she insisted, "I have high hopes for you Nathaniel, stop doubting yourself. I can already see the goodness in you, a goodness that your father did not have."

"I do not see it."

"Why didn't you kill me then?"

"I already told you why, I just wanted to reclaim some of my family's things."

"And you have, why haven't you left?"

He looked at her in surprise.

"I'm a Grey Warden now; I have a duty to help defeat the Darkspawn."

"What do you care?" she asked.

"They could kill innocent people!" he snapped, growing angry with her, "Would you turn your back on all of those people, just like that?"

"Your father seemed to think it was okay."

Nathaniel opened his mouth to reply, but then caught on to what she had done. He fell silent, making her smile.

"See, a good and fair man, destined for greatness," she mused, "You'll be a better Warden than me one day, I'm willing to bet."

"Do you have this much faith in all of us?" he asked her. Rayne thought carefully for a moment before answering him.

"I do."

"Then I hope that one day I can live up to whatever it is that you see in me."

"Oh you're pretty close Nathaniel; I wouldn't worry about it too much."

She winked at him with a playful smile on her face.

"Very well than Commander," he replied, "I won't."

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm always surprised to hear something humorous come out of that mouth of yours, enjoy the dagger Nathaniel."

The Howe nodded appreciatively and took his leave.

He was feeling content with their conversation when he heard a barking laugh, a laugh that could only belong to Oghren. He stuck his head into the throne room and saw that Anders was glaring down the dwarf as he continued to laugh. Sigrun, Velanna and Justice could only exchange looks as the mage and the dwarf argued once again.

"At least I don't smell like rotten meat!" Anders pointed out.

"At least I don't run around in a dress," Oghren retorted. Nathaniel could only shake his head at the two of them. He approached Justice and then nodded towards Anders and Oghren.

"What are they on about this time?" he asked.

"The dwarf doesn't believe that the Commander has any use for the mage," the lost spirit explained, "This has caused the mage great distress."

"I'm not distressed!" Anders shouted, throwing his hands up into the air in frustration, making Oghren laugh once again.

"Well fine," Anders said, once again glaring at Oghren "If you're so smart, why did Rayne let you join then? I find it hard to believe that she enjoys travelling around with a moron who is drunk more often than sober."

Oghren scoffed.

"That's obvious," he said, "Because I'm just the right height to give a lady a good time."

"Ewww," Sigrun moaned, squinting up her nose in disgust.

"I find it hard to believe that the Commander would touch you with a fifty foot pole," Velanna pointed out. Oghren wasn't fazed by their insults in the slightest. Justice rubbed his chin as if he was deep in thought, then offered another opinion.

"The dwarf is a warrior of renown," he mused, "This must be why the Commander allows him to remain. His obvious prowess on the battlefield is needed to see that the Darkspawn are given the deaths they so deserve."

"Sure," Oghren said, "What he said."

"What in the Maker's name is all the shouting about?"

The others looked towards the doors as Rayne entered, her hands on her hips, her grey eyes glancing at each of them in turn.

"He started it," Oghren voiced straight away, pointing to Anders.

"Did not!" the mage retorted. Rayne rolled her eyes.

"Oghren, leave Anders alone and Anders, leave Oghren alone," the elf said.

"Pretty boy here seems to think you keep him around because of his sparkling personality," Oghren said with a shrug, "I told him it was time to come down off the pedestal of his."

Rayne chuckled.

"Oh Oghren, you're the one with the sparkling personality," she said, "That and you're just the right height to give a girl a good time."

She and the dwarf shared a laugh and then Oghren turned to the others.

"See, what did I tell you?"

"Andraste's blood I feel dirty," Nathaniel muttered.

"You and me both," Anders agreed.

Oghren and Rayne, enjoying the disgusted looks on the other recruit's faces, took their leave, still laughing. Rayne then mentioned something about travelling to Amaranthine and stopping at the tavern, to which Oghren quickly agreed.

While the others didn't fully understand their Commander, she was a listening ear in time of need, and the one who brought them all together. So despite her obvious eccentricities they respected her and would follow her to whatever end.

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**Winter-Rae:** I was so tempted to add some flirty moments between Nathaniel and Rayne, but I restrained myself, I'll save that for another story. Also, no, Oghren and Rayne are not sleeping together. They are old war buddies after all, so obviously they share the occasional dirty joke here and there. The others are just jealous that they aren't in the loop, haha. Anyway! Let me know what you thought of this, I think this one and Anders' are my favourites. Cheers!


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